The theme of her story which resonated with me most was the amazing impact encouragement had on her.  Her pastor not only welcomed and accepted her calling but sought provide her with ways to begin living that calling out.  Her gratefulness for the affirmation and support she received not only from her pastor, but also her family and friends, was infused in her entire story.

I am thankful for the support I received in my journey toward ministry.  My youth minister who did not try to talk me out of the call I felt, professors who pointed out my giftedness and taught me to begin to understand women in leadership of the church in a different way, and a pastor who hired me and took a chance by asking me to lead and preach (interestingly, all of these people were men).

There were other voices on the road that were not so encouraging.  But ultimately, those voices lost.

So now, today, as one who has been encouraged and empowered, I hope I can continue to be a part of encouraging the next generation.  Do I still need encouragement?  Sure.  But I am just one person.  However, if my voice becomes a voice of support for others, then maybe ministry and the work of Christ can be multiplied. 

So when I remember how much encouragement transformed Debra’s journey and my own, I am reminded to proactively look for opportunities to be an encourager to others.  Women called to ministry need the positive voices to win.  Because when encouragement triumphs over discouragement, the hope of Christ spreads and the kingdom of God is the ultimate winner.  Will you join me aiding that victory?

Indeed, men who are ministers also balance many roles outside of their workplace, but studies have shown that the potential for ‘interrole conflict’ is higher for women since we typically keep many culturally-defined gender roles when we enter the workforce.

Interrole conflict has been defined as a type of conflict that arises when multiple roles of a person’s life seemingly have competing interests and pressures.

A 2008 article from the Journal of Psychology and Christianity (full reference below) reports that there are many benefits to women who pursue multiple roles like career and motherhood, especially when those roles are considered spiritual callings.  Major benefits reported are less psychological stress and being less prone to depression.  While some women may experience interrole conflict between career and motherhood, those of us who feel our careers are callings from God have less conflict.

In other words, even though we seem to more readily experience this interrole conflict – as woman/mother ministers we are, on-the-whole, happier people.  When we know that God has called us to be both mother and minister, making choices about balancing time and energy can become a little less stressful.

As I recently read the article described here I decided that if mulitple roles/callings meant lower stress and depression, then it was okay for me to take on one more role/calling…the call to be me.  I may be a minister, mother, wife, event planner, student, counselor, and friend all in the same day, but how many times in that day do I take time to accept the call to be me? 

There are things that I like to do – something people typically call ‘hobbies’ which are often a foreign concept to the mom/minister.  But I have trouble letting myself take time for these because it takes away from the minister/mom dichotomy which requires so much balance already.  But I’m beginning to learn that when we take the time to add in the role of ‘me’, the other roles we balance benefit from having a more complete person enacting them.

So I say thank you to the authors of the article mentioned above.  They have taught me that despite the struggles I face in balancing life as a woman/mother/minister, chances are that I will be a happier person because I have not rejected God’s multiple callings on my life.  And I say thank you to my husband, who affirms that multiple roles make a healthier woman/mother/minister by regularly reminding me that it’s okay to go play golf!

Article cited: Kerris Oates, M. Elizabeth Lewis Hall, Tamara Anderson, Michele Willingham, “Pursuing Multiple Callings: The Implications of Balancing Career and Motherhood for Women in the Church,” Journal of Psychology and Christianity 27, no. 3, 227-37.

So commence restart attempt number 1.

I’ve often wondered where the line is on coveting.  I like things that other people have…and not just material things.  I’d like to have a better sense of style.  I’d like to have thinner hair.  I’d like to have more time so that I could play more golf.  And at times – I’m jealous of those who have those things I’d like.  Is that coveting?

I don’t think wanting certain things is in itself wrong; however, I think it’s what we do with our desires that turns wanting into coveting.  If I were to get angry at someone for having what I want – then maybe I’ve crossed the line.  If I were to let my desire become something that I obsessed about – then maybe I’ve gone too far.  If I were to compromise my integrity in order to get the things I want – then I’m definitely in the wrong.

As with most things,  I think moderation is the key.  It’s okay to want different things, but when the act of wanting occurs far more than the act of being grateful or content – then we have become gluttons of our desire.

May our desires for integrity and communion with God far outweigh our desires for temporal pleasures.

Seems easy enough right?  We’re taught at a very early age not to take anything that’s not ours.

Why is it not so easy with church?  We live in an age where everyone’s got the best idea on how to do church.  It worked for them so they’re going to develop a conference, book, seminar, how-to-model, etc. so that you can do it just like they did.  Whoa…isn’t that stealing?

Okay, maybe to call that stealing is a little intense, but…don’t we have minds of our own?  Can’t we call upon the image of the creator inside of us to help us become creative?

So even though something is working for some other church out there, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be right for the community of believers I’m a part of.  Can I learn from other communities and churches?  Absolutely.  Is there a difference between learning and stealing?  Absolutely.  Did God create us to be creative, even in terms of how we do church?  For sure.

May we strive to reflect the image of the creator.

How early can you start teaching your children the ten commandments? 

Kinsey (1 yr) has begun using Kinsey-language to communicate with me.  Thus, our conversations normally sound like this:

Kinsey: (screaming) Ahhbaahda!

Me: (calmly) Really?

Kinsey: (even more emphatically now) Ahhbaahda!!

Me: (a little more frustrated) I’m not quite sure I understand sweetheart.

Kinsey: (bordering on crying, but really just yelling at me)  Ahhbaahda!!!

Me: (with much more tone)  Okay…what?  Just show me…What?!?

Kinsey: (calmly and pointing to the cheetos) Ta.

At one year old, Kinsey doesn’t quite understand “Honor you mother and father.”  Her tone with me borders on disrespect…if possible from a 1 year old.  Yet I don’t know how and when you start teaching the proper manner of communication.  She can only say 5 words!

I don’t remember this with Hallie.  She was always very calm and lived in her own little world, but not Kinsey.  Kinsey lives in everyone’s world and wants to interact in it right now in whatever fashion she chooses.

With Hallie (5 yrs) she understands respecting mom and dad.  She understands this because she knows what gets taken away when she doesn’t do it.  But teaching a 1 yr old is a little different.  What am I going to take away?  Her blanket? Any parent of a 1 yr old knows that is not a battle we’re willing to fight.

I wonder sometimes if we are the 1 yr old or the 5 yr old in respect to our parents as adults.  While cognitively I know that they have wisdom beyond my years and deserve my respect, sometimes it is hard to get past my own desire for the cheeto.

I have the same wonder about our relationships with God.  Again, I understand that God is much wiser and is worthy of my trust, but I just want the cheeto so badly.

So the commandment says those who honor their father and mother will live long in the land.  The land was the symbol of living in the blessing of the Lord and thus those who follow the commandment would be among those blessed.  I guess the same applies to my 1 yr and myself – honor our moms and dads and perhaps we’ll get to live in the blessing of having happy, rather than frustrated, parents.  And perhaps honoring God will equate to the same.

The first commandment.  At times people have wondered if the existence of other gods is affirmed by this scripture and commandment thinking how could people have other gods before God unless there were other gods?

But such was not a question to the people whom first heard this commandment.  Though they may or may not have had personal experiences with other gods, they were well aware that other people all around them had experiences with other gods.  To question the existence of those other gods probably wasn’t an important question to them.  The most important thing was knowing that the God they worshiped was tops – no matter what.

The way they came to understand that their God (Yahweh) was the ultimate was through their experiences.  Thus, the first commandment is not just – you shall have no other gods before me.  Rather, the first commandment is – Remember all that I have done for you and thus have no other gods before me.

God earned the exclusiveness of their worship.  God had done amazing things for them and deserved their unswerving praise.

Today, when we think of “having no other gods before me,” we think more of earthly things that we may put in front of our relationship with God.  No matter if we are considering earthly or “non-earthly” gods, our remembrance should be what draws our unique devotion.

Today I will remember the God who has created me as a free entity capable of living, choosing, and being all of my own accord.  And out of my remembrance of freedom, I will choose to put no other gods before GOD.

I want to be a follower of Jesus – but  I’ve often contemplated what this call means for me.

What does it mean to deny myself?  Does it mean to deny my wishes and desires?  Does mean to deny myself the things I want?  Does it mean I should deny the essence of who I am?

And what is the cross that I am supposed to take up?  Is a tool for my destruction as it was for Jesus?  Is it referring to my burdens? I can’t imagine a burden I have that compares to Jesus’ cross, so it’s hard for me to equate my cross to my “burdens.”

I think the meaning of denying myself and taking up my cross is evolving and personal.  I don’t know that there is anyway for me to give a certain interpretation of this.  I can only meditate on it in my own life and try to discover what Jesus is asking of me.

The evolving meaning of the phrase speaks to me today that it is necessary for me to embrace struggle.  Though my struggles don’t compare to Jesus’, the journey of following Christ has never been intended to be easy…the journey may be rewarding, but it is by no means carefree.

So I deny my tendency to run from struggle and I embrace the difficulties that face me (however inconsequential they may seem to others).  I face following Christ with bravery, while still knowing that I have a God who cares about me even when the brave face is only a facade.

Do you ever wish you could go back in time?  How many times have I wished I could just go back 5 seconds and take back the incredibly irresponsible thing I said for which my foot found its way to my mouth?

Surely Peter felt this way on more than one occassion, but this one kind of took the cake.  I mean, seriously, rebuking Jesus?  I know he was just trying to be sure the obvious didn’t remain unsaid, but wow!  Jesus seems to call him Satan!

I know a certain someone who has a tendency to point out the elephant in any room – a Peter for sure.  But  I guess I can’t neglect the fact that Peter becomes the rock upon which Christ builds the church.  Peter is the leader, the visionary church planter who didn’t want to have anything left unsaid.

So while I do wish I would be more careful with my words so that I don’t have to remove my foot from my mouth so often, I guess I could learn a lesson from Peter and try to become the kind of leader that is an elephant spotter.

As I read through this account of the covenant between God and Abraham, I started thinking outside of the Abrahamic box.

This text of God’s promise to multiply and bless descendants of Abraham comes from the people of Abraham.  Years after this promise was made to Abraham, the people who had benefited from it looked back and wrote this account of the promise. 

But I’m drawn today to the people outside of the Abrahamic lineage.  Do they feel blessed by God?  Though they are not addressed in this passage directly the implication seems to be that if people of the Abrahamic lineage are blessed, then the people of non-Abrahamic lineage are not.  From the perspective of the blessed people, I’m sure it seems okay to leave the implied part out.

But I’m drawn to them today, the people on the other side.  Our texts present the positives about being who we are, and don’t necessarily address those who are not “in” our circle. 

I guess I just want to say to everyone today, those inside or outside, those in the middle or those on the margins, those in power and those existing under the reign of the powerful - “For God so loved THE WORLD!” There is hope and blessing for those on every side and I hope I never fail to let my worldview reflect a God who loves all people – not just those who are like me.